TRIBUTES to RABBI RIM

Talks given on June 13, 2008 celebrating Rabbi Rim’s Tenth Anniversary with Temple Shir Tikvah

A Tribute to Rabbi Rim
from an Interfaith Shir Tikvah Member

by Alison Abdu

If someone had told me nine years ago when we joined the Temple that I would be standing here sharing personal reflections about the Rabbi, I would have told you that you must be mistaking me for someone else, because I would have thought that so improbable. And the fact that I am standing here says volumes about Rim and all he has done to make Judaism accessible to me and so many others, and to make Shir Tikvah such a welcoming community.

Barry and I joined Shir Tikvah to provide our children with a Jewish cultural and religious education. It was a move we were making for the kids, primarily, and maybe for Barry, but not for me. The thought of joining a temple was very intimidating to me — we are an interfaith couple with Barry, at that time, being a non-practicing Jew and with my having been raised in the Lebanese Maronite Christian religion.

I didn’t know much, if anything, about Judaism; I didn’t even know a rabbi, never mind one named Rim. I didn’t feel a religious or spiritual connection, and in fact, bristled at the thought of being part of any organized religion; and I was self-conscious about my Lebanese Christian heritage, expecting it would be a barrier to my feeling comfortable at this, or any, Temple.

So I thought I was along for the ride on a Jewish journey for my partner and children, but not for myself. Well, I was wrong and happily stand corrected. This was a Jewish journey for me as well, and one that has been guided by Rabbi Rim.

Although we joined the temple 9 years ago, I didn’t really feel like a member until about 5 years ago — when my son Zack began preparing for his Bar Mitzvah. I remember meeting with Rim to discuss Zack’s ceremony and sharing with him our disparate backgrounds and our many concerns about how to approach this significant rite-of-passage. I felt especially vulnerable because so often it is the mother who passes on traditions and here was an important one that I had no experience with at all.

I asked Rim how I might participate in the service. I was hoping he would prescribe my role and make things easy for me. Instead, however, in typical fashion, Rim asked me what I would like to do — because it was really up to me. What would I like to do? It’s up to me?? Oh no, I thought, that’s not what I wanted to hear!

And as we talked further, I realized that what Rim was really saying to me was that it was up to me to decide how I wanted to participate and that the possibilities were many. His counsel to me was that if I wanted to be an observer at Zack’s service, I could; if I wanted to be an active participant, I could. It was up to me. He was also advising me that I did not have to do it on my own — that he was right there for me, as were many other members of the Temple community. And so I began in earnest to learn what a Bar Mitzvah and Judaism are all about, relying heavily on Rim and others to help me along the way.

Rim, you are such a gifted teacher and advisor. I think about that year as my having taken a crash course in Judaism. It was a year of connection, spiritual awakening and growing pride in Zack’s maturity as a Jewish adult. I learned so much from you about Judaism and Jewish values, about faith, and about community.

Well, we celebrated Zack’s Bar Mitzvah and then 3 year’s later Eliza’s Bat Mitzvah and I participated fully in both services — an incredibl3e transformation for me. Both services were also amazing experiences for our guests. After Zack’s service, I sent an email to Rim, of which the subject line was: “What a High!” and which read in part, “We are very grateful to you and appreciate your leadership and wisdom along the way. Many of our family and friends commented that they were very impressed with you because you made them feel welcomed, comfortable, and involved in the service. Those who had never attended a Bar Mitzvah were moved by the service, and many of our Jewish friends said they had never experienced a service like that and that it was an honor and joy for them to be with us. Guests whom we never expected to participate were singing and praying during the service — wow! They were inspired. A few friends, caught up in the moment, even said they wanted to convert!” Well, Rim — I don’t think it gets any better than that!

Rim, you make Judaism accessible to everyone you touch, with your warmth, wisdom and humor. You engage without judging, and encourage us to think, to celebrate, to pray, to laugh, and to have fun. You made it possible for me to shed my own insecurities about joining this temple, and to open myself to the many blessings of Judaism and this community. Knowing you has shattered many of my own preconceptions about who and what a spiritual leader is and you have affirmed for me that religion can be a positive force in the world and in my life.

A few years ago, Barry and I committed to going on the first-ever Temple trip to Israel. Well, let’s just say, Barry was committed to going on the trip. My father, whom Rim had warmly welcomed to the Temple, had passed away just a few months before the trip was to happen; I was not sure I could muster the enthusiasm for traveling to Israel with 80 other people.

But I did commit to the trip and one very compelling reason was that you, Rim, were also going, and that gave me a lot of comfort. You had provided much-needed emotional and spiritual support to me after my father’s death and I knew you knew how I was feeling. And like so many other things that happen at Shir Tikvah, it turned out to be a powerful experience based on friendship and community. It was a life-changing event with many special moments, including the following two:

1. As we approached the city of Jerusalem, rather than just driving right in, we pulled over at a rest area to gaze at the city before us and to stop to take it all in. We could see Jerusalem in the distance — almost beckoning to us. And then, Rim, you led us in prayer and Beth led us in song, marking a sacred entry into a sacred city.
   
   Rim — you create sacred moments, many sacred moments; you even create sacred moments when the rest of us are not even thinking there is a sacred moment to create. I have learned from you to celebrate all that life has to offer — from the simple things we can easily take for granted to the mile posts in our lives. And I am glad to say we have celebrated many sacred moments with you.


2. Later on our trip, our group went up to Mt. Bentel, in the North of Israel, and from which we had a spectacular view into Lebanon. Although my ancestors are from Lebanon, I had not yet traveled there, and I knew I would not get there on this trip, either. It was hard to be that close and yet so far. As you and I talked about my mixed emotions, you turned to me and said, “Well, maybe our next Temple trip should be to Lebanon.” I was stunned by your open-mindedness and compassion — and not because I actually thought the next Temple trip would be to Lebanon, but because I knew that when you said that to me, you meant it. It also made me think that if everyone thought like you do, then anything is possible, even peace in the Middle East!
   
   Rim, your “outside the box thinking” makes so many unlikely possibilities possible and challenges each of us to think bigger and broader, and to not let religious dogma, prejudices, stereotypes or other people’s expectations limit our own possibilities.

I want to personally and publicly thank you for welcoming and supporting me as a full member of this community — just as you have done for countless others. I am very mindful of the many ways you seek to encourage, rather than discourage, participation; perhaps the most significant of which is not requiring conversion in order to participate in Jewish celebrations and rituals. Your commitment to inclusion and community-building have made me all the more open, committed, and connected to Judaism and to raising my children to be Jewish.

I am very proud to be a member of Temple Shir Tikvah and so grateful to have you as my rabbi, spiritual leader, and friend. You are a gift and a blessing to me and my family, and I especially want to thank you for always making me feel so welcome and at home here.

—Alison Abdu