RAPPING with RIM

September, 2008

Rabbi Rim, Technology, and Me…

by Jerilyn W. Heinold

If anyone had ever told me that I would have a relationship with a rabbi that went beyond birth, death, and illness, I would probably have responded with a laugh and a “yeah right…” Interestingly enough, that relationship has developed and I’m convinced that it is, in part, helped by technology. My initial communication with Rabbi Rim was very traditional — doing one of the things that makes him so special — he reached out more than once during a very painful year when my brother and mother died. Those interactions were in-person, direct, and comforting. It might have ended there but Rabbi Rim went that extra step…knowing I worked in healthcare, he invited me to attend a lecture about mergers and planning, given by the COO (Chief Operating Officer) of Beth Israel during its merger with Deaconess Hospital. After that I felt comfortable enough to start having e-mail conversations with him. That’s one of the great things about asynchronous communication (such as e-mail) where you don’t feel as though you are “bothering” the person you are writing to and yet it keeps the connection “open.”

As I pondered what, for me, was a new use of technology, I thought I’d ask Rabbi Rim his impressions about the effect of technology on day-to-day communication with the congregation. His instantaneous answer was that it had a significant, positive effect. From a practical point of view, he indicated about how much easier e-mail correspondence has made the iterative processes of Bar and Bat Mitzvah preparation, citing the back and forth speech editing. He also talked about how e-mail is sometimes used by potential congregants who want to “know” him before they decide whether to join the Temple, and is used to gain access.

The Rabbi also indicated, however, that communicating electronically raises questions like “How to handle sensitive topics?” and the need to use judgment to decide when to pause the electronic conversation and switch to direct conversation (either by phone or in-person), which is less prone to ambiguity. In such cases the Rabbi feels that there is no substitute for eye-to eye contact!

I asked him if he had a different persona electronically than in-person and he pushed the question back to me…”Did I think he was different on-line?” I had to say “No,” although he is probably one of the few people for whom this can be said! When Rabbi Rim talks to me on e-mail, I can hear his voice in my head.

He surprised me with this example of his use of technology. A woman died and he regretted that he hadn’t had the chance to know her very well before she became ill. Before the funeral service, Rabbi Rim spoke to the woman’s daughter who told him about her mother’s blog. When Rabbi Rim accessed it he found a window into the life and thoughts of a vibrant, exciting, and creative person. The blog allowed him another way to “know” the person in addition to the traditional way of talking to the family and friends. He also thought that even though at the time it was too painful for the family to view, someday it would be a treasured memory.

The conversation then really took a turn into how technology could enhance and enrich the study of scripture. As Rabbi Rim explained it, he “…and the Jewish tradition — have at its center, a document written by hand with a quill on parchment. It never crashes (which is good) but it is very hard to access: no punctuation nor vowels.” He talked about Talmud and how much easier it was to explain its construction/use if one likened the commentary to hyperlinks! It was a visual that will always stay with me!

Anne Meirowitz mentioned (with a sigh!) during her speech at Rabbi Rim’s 10-year celebratory Shabbat service that e-mail left him connected 24/7. (Interestingly enough, Rabbi Rim didn’t mention this as a negative!) Although probably not the best technical advance for the Meirowitz family, it is certainly a great anchor for all of us! Thanks, Rabbi Rim, for giving us another way to connect with you…

—Jerilyn W. Heinold